One of the things I do not like about social media is the inevitable fakeness that accompanies how people portray themselves. It’s not necessarily that people are lying about themselves, but that there is an absence of most of….well….their true self. Partial truth can equal a lie.
Consequently, I see a fake me on Instagram. I did take those pictures. I do love beauty, and my family, and my God. Yet I do not remember to include the things that make me who I am. My hardships, the really hard shit that I go through, that draws me ever deeper to my Creator.
These hardships allow for the beauty to be contrasted all the more clearly. The resolution is so much higher.
This photo sums up how I’ve been feeling. I’ve been feeling like I am in a pale, dark, box. I felt like the Lord had forgotten me.
I’ve been reading Frank Laubach. His book is helping me in the continuation of a journey that the Holy Spirit has been leading me through. This journey ends ( or rather, begins) at complete submission and surrender. Practically, this means a minute by minute surrender. I knew that this would be the most difficult task I would ever undertake. It has been so difficult in the light of my hard circumstances lately, and my own apathy is so disheartening.
Yesterday, I felt so forgotten in my “pale box”. I looked at the Fall leaves outside the window and stretched out my desire towards Him. I tangibly felt that he had not forgotten me. He told me he was only taking me deeper.
This is not the first time he’s proven to me that I am not forgotten. I could never be forgotten. This just reminded me of that verse where he says that my name is written on his hands. Here it is: Isaiah 49:15-16
“Can a woman forget her nursing child And have no compassion on the son of her womb? Even these may forget, but I will not forget you. 16″Behold, I have inscribed you on the palms of My hands.”
Thank God that I will never be alone. It is good to have been in this “box”, this suffering, because it has let me breath the sweet air of his breath in a new way.
Wow….remember that part in the Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe? When Aslan runs about the White Witches castle and breathes upon his people, and brings them back to life? I’ve been praying for this part in the book to become a reality in my life.
…He really does work. And he really will bring to pass all that He has promised.